Comments on: Stop Child Sexual Abuse Now! What you need to know.

By: Mrs Flipphead

Mrs Flipphead — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 01:40:30 +0000

Nance-Thanks for the information. Hopefully the people who need to see it will see this and future tragedies will be prevented.

By: nance

nance — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 23:18:32 +0000

Mark Samuel, Nurse Sex Offender Convicted
On Sept 8,2005 RN:Mark Samuel was sentenced to five years in Jail with all but two years suspended,having been convicted in January 2004 of unlawful sexual contact with a 6 year-old girl . Mark Samuel counseled the girls mother. when the counseling ended , the three became friends attending family fuctions together. The violations occurred during sleepovers at the Nurses residence during the summer of 2003. Mark Samuel has been released from prison and is now at risk to the community of North Bay Ontario Mark Samuel emyployed 2007 for Assertive community treatment Team North Bay, ON
Northeast Mental Health Center
P.O. Box 3010 4700
Highway 11 N
North Bay, ON,CA

By: Mrs Flipphead

Mrs Flipphead — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 12:29:22 +0000

Two Knives-It’s never too late to teach their kids about protective behaviors. Anything we can do to protect our kids from people who have deluded themselves into believing what they are doing is o.k. because they “love” the child is (hopefully) one more attempt foiled.

WalksFarWoman-Thanks for the kind words. I am constantly amazed at the naivete of many parents. I deal with a lot of parents in my line of work and it frightens me how many parents are out there who simply don’t even consider the possibility that it could happen to their kids.

I’m sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I have been busy trying to find a second job and dealing with a sick baby boy.

Thanks for commenting!

By: WalksFarWoman

WalksFarWoman — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 04:04:31 +0000

What a fantastic post Mrs F! I love your hard hitting no nonsense writing which is of great educational value. People refuse to believe that members of their own family could be so twisted – or are happy that little Jodie is playing happily on the computer safe indoors…if you don’t use a computer yourself you just aren’t aware of it’s potential to cause harm. You’re doing a great job!

By: Two Knives

Two Knives — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:39:07 +0000

The point about Aunt Zelda really hits home. I’m constantly pointing out to my kids that their bodies are their own, but I still force the grandparent kiss/hug issue. I hope it’s not too late to backtrack! Thanks for the post — great info.

By: Mrs Flipphead

Mrs Flipphead — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:21:27 +0000

Bella-Thanks! I’m glad that it was a worthwhile post. I did it so late yesterday, that I was worried that I would wake up this morning and find it didn’t make sense. \

You are absolutely right about molesters coming from your own family. I am astounded at the number of people that I meet that were molested by an uncle, older cousin, brother, parent, step-parent. In fact, some molesters target single moms with children who fit their preferred “type” of child. Then when the child outgrows the molesters preference, he divorces the mom (or just plain leaves, having never married her) to find the next victim.

You are dead on about what kids think “bad people” look like. My boss was telling me about how when one of her kids was little, she was watching Dynasty and her son got out of bed. He saw Joan Collins character Alexis and didn’t understand what was going on with her character. When my boss explained that she was the “bad guy”, he said, “She can’t be bad, she’s too pretty.”

Which, I imagine, is why Ted Bundy was able to murder so many young women. He didn’t look creepy or ugly.

Dawn- I know. I catch myself doing it sometimes and then I have to edit myself, “nevermind, that’s o.k. if you don’t feel like giving aunt Zelda a hug, it’s up to you.” It’s so easy to do. Our parents did it to us. Out of politeness. It was rude not to let smelly old aunt Zelda hug all over us and pinch our cheeks. We have been socialized to do the same thing to our kids. But the reality is that adults who love and care about what happens to our kids will understand when we simply explain why we don’t force it. And let’s face it, who wants forced affection from a child anyway? What they really want is the child to love them and want to hug them without being forced. A lot of times, they are the ones saying. “No, really. That’s o.k. don’t make them hug me, if they don’t want to.” But I see parents force their kids to do it anyway, which just makes the kid and “aunt Zelda” uncomfortable. It’s better for the parent to simply say something like, “Don’t feel bad, he’s that way with everybody” or “he’s just standoffish today.”

By: thetardyteacher

thetardyteacher — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:56:45 +0000

“give aunt Zelda a hug” …

I never thought of that – but so so true.

By: Bella

Bella — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 05:59:15 +0000

Flip, I knew you’d do a post on this knowing how strongly you feel from previous posts w/ your personal experience. I think every single paragraph hits the nail on the head here. Every point that you touched on is crucial. The line that gave me chills was, “They build themselves up to be a saint in the parents’ eyes. The easier to discredit the child, should the child tell about the abuse.” They are like snakes in waiting. Sick. So cunning and crafty – look at what we are up against!

If you asked a kid what a molester looks like, they’d probably tell you “They look like a monster” or “They are ugly, and creepy looking” but the sad truth is, they look like everyday normal folks. This is something that I have told my kids.

I think what you wrote is golden and if everyone would have this conversation with their kids (instead of thinking “that’s something that happens to other people- because maybe they don’t let “outsiders” around their kids? Well, I have news, sometimes a FAMILY MEMEBER can abuse your kid!!! But, like I was saying, if everyone had this conversation with their kids, we could really put a HUGE dent in this problem.

I wish everyone could read what you wrote here.