Toy Overload makes me the Toy Overlord!!! June 29, 2007
Posted by Mrs Flipphead in family, kids, toys.trackback
I just spent the better part of an hour picking up toys off of my living room floor.
After about 15 minutes of laying on my belly on the floor trying to retrieve colored plastic “gears”, for younger son’s “gear box” toy, from under the entertainment center and sideboard (among about a thousand little peices of puzzles, blocks, plastic clicky rings–or whatever you call those dang things), I have come to one conclusion.
We have way too many stinkin’ toys in this house.
So now I have dubbed myself the Toy Overlord.
Mwuah hah hah. This weekend, hubby is taking the boys and I am gettin’ the boxes. We will have toy purging.
As the new Toy Overlord, I hearby decree:
No more toys with multiple parts, unless they are really big and permanently attached to the main component of the toy.
No more toys that make annoying or scary noises. (More on this in a minute.)
No more than one bin of toys per boy.
All other toys will be either gotten rid of, or stored away to be pulled out in a “mommy needs a break” emergency.
Any grandparent breaking any of the aforementioned rules will be required to watch the boys in question, for free, for 100 hours, for every offense. In addition, mommy will jack the boys up on sugar and caffeine, prior to dropping them off–along with a bin of the offending toys.
The Toy Overlord reserves the right to revise, edit, and amend the rules at any time. I also reserve the right of redundancy.
Re: Scary toys
When one is sitting in one’s living room, enjoying the quiet solitude of kids in bed and a husband out for the evening….one does not appreciate a toy that takes the opportunity to speak up from out of nowhere, in a creepy little Chucky voice, “Peakaboo, I see you!”
As a frequent reader of Stephen King and Dean Koontz, this is something that I will not tolerate. Toys that scare the shite out of me must leave immediately! What the ___!?!
This actually happened to me one night. It would not have been unusual…this happens quite a lot with noisy toys in a toy bin, actually. One toy is tossed onto another, causing the button or whatever to be almost pushed. You walk across the floor, shifting the toys slightly, causing the toy to be activated.
What made it eerie, creepy and irrationally freaky was the sentence it spoke and the fact that it kept doing it periodically….15, 30, 45 minutes would go by and it would do it again!
Finally freaked me out so bad, I had to empty the bin to find it and make it stop….all the while looking over my shoulder to make sure it wasn’t pulling a “Chucky” on me from behind.
Yeah, that’s right. Scared of a stuffed peekaboo dog… You wanna make something of it?!
Now excuse me whilst I go find toys to terrorize….
What – we have too many toys? I seem to have heard that somewhere before.
The Toy Overlord says, “No comments from the peanut gallery!” You may have Redneck Waterpark jurisdiction, but I am the TOY OVERLORD!!!!!!
Tag…YOU ARE IT!!
Hey thanks! I’ll get right on that!
LMAO! @ jacking the kids up on sugar and caffeine–and your right to redundancy. Ha! That was funny, funny.
I’ve always had a ‘no noise maker‘ rule with my kids’ toys. Grandma knows that it’ll go in the trash, so she best not waste her money. I can’t stand noisy toys. Secondly, I’m not about to jump outta my shoes when one of those things gets possessed.
Yeah. I’ve read those books too.
Too funny. Reminds me of when I was working overnights putting out xmas toys. I was working about 2 rows over (by myself mind you) and some possessed doll star started talking. Kept doing off and on for a couple hours untill I had had it. I snuck up on it, grabbed it off the shelf, held it at arms length and shoved it in the stockroom. No more “bride” of chucky for me.
Take that! China doll.